


Dan, Pick Some Lines Up.

by joshmeatflint



Category: You Me At Six
Genre: M/M, all cred goes to the brilliant @lauraclery, dan is completely done with him, josh is horny 24/7
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-08-31 02:52:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8560777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshmeatflint/pseuds/joshmeatflint
Summary: josh has horrible sexual pick up lines, dan is 100% done with him





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> what the hell did i just do

Josh: Dan.

Dan: Yes?

Josh: Is that a phone in your back pocket? BecaUSE THAT ASS IS CALLING ME!

Dan: I'm breaking up with you.


	2. Chapter 2

Josh: Dan.

Dan: WhAT.

Josh: Do you wanna pretend my bedroom is a bar?

Dan: What for?

Josh: So I can order some peNIS COLADA

Dan: Oh sweet Jesus.

Josh: IF YOU LIKE PENIS COLADA

Dan: Stop.

Josh: OR GETTING CAUGHT IN THE SNATCH


	3. Chapter 3

Josh: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN.

Dan: What.

Josh: Can I get a fistbump =DDD

Dan: *fistbumps Josh*

Josh: That's not the only thing you'll be pounding tonight ;))))))))))))

Dan: JESUS.


	4. Chapter 4

Josh: Dan.

Dan: What.

Josh: Are you Italian?

Dan: What? No.

Josh: 'Cause I want a pIZZA THAT ASS


	5. Chapter 5

Josh: Hey Dan. Wanna play the army game?

Dan: What is it?

Josh: Oh you just lay there while I blow the shit out of you.


	6. Chapter 6

Josh: Hey Dan? My dick just died, do you mind if I borrow yours?

Dan: whAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN.

Josh: BOIIIIIIIIII SHOW ME YOUR DICKKKKKKK


	7. Chapter 7

Josh: *whispers* Thank god I brought my library card, because I'm toTALLY CHECKING YOU OUT.

Dan: leaVE ME ALONE.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS ITS DANS TURN AKHFIASKHFKLSFAD

Dan: Hey Josh. How many planets are in the solar system?

Josh: What? I don't know...8?

Dan: 7 after I destroy Uranus ;)))))))

Josh: dID YOU JUST

Josh: daNIEL

Josh: DANIEL

Josh: DANIEL DAVID FLINT YOU GET YOUR ASS HERE NOW

Dan: NAH MATE EVEN THOUGH THERES A PHONE IN MY BACK POCKET MY ASS DEFINITELY ISN'T CALLING YOU


	9. Chapter 9

Josh: Oh Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan.

Dan: Yeeeesssss.

Josh: Do you have a shovel? 'Cause I'm dIGGING THAT ASS


	10. Chapter 10

Josh: Dan.

Dan: Huh.

Josh: The word of the day is 'legs'.

Dan: ...

Josh: Don't you think we should spREAD THE WORD


	11. Chapter 11

Josh: Hey Dan.

Dan: What.

Josh: I was just gonna head to the back but I was thinking of adding you, subtracting the clothes, dividing the legs and multiplying.

Dan: Fuck me.

Josh: Delightfully.


	12. Chapter 12

Josh: Hey Dan, wanna flip this coin?

Dan: Why?

Josh: So you'd have a good chance of getting head ;)))))))


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SEXUAL PICK UP LINES DAN IS BACK GUYS IM

Dan: JOOSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Josh: WHAT.

Dan: I wish your battery was dead.

Josh: wHY?

Dan: So I could FILL YOU UP


	14. Chapter 14

Josh: hEy dAN

Dan: Hm?

Josh: I think you'd make a really good donkey trainer.

Dan: Joshua what.

Josh: Because thIS ASS DESPERATELY NEEDS TO BE PUNISHED.


	15. Chapter 15

Josh: Hey Dan. Wanna do the Mona Lisa?

Dan: How?

Josh: I'll play Lisa and you'll make me moan AYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


	16. Chapter 16

Josh: Dan.

Dan: What.

Josh: Are you Fred Flintstone? Because you can just yaBADABA DO ME

Dan: WHAT THE FUCK THAT WAS THE WORST ONE YET.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE COME TO AN AGREEMENT WITH DAN THIS IS POSSIBLY ONE OF THE WORST ONES IVE ACTUALLY WRITTEN DOWN


	17. Chapter 17

Josh: Hey Dan, are you from Japan?

Dan: Obviously not?

Josh: Cause I wanna get in Ja-pants


	18. Chapter 18

Josh: Dan. Do you have any idea how much a polar bear weighs?

Dan: I don't.

Josh: Enough to break the ice. Hi, I'm Josh.

Dan: Ew.


End file.
